To Chop or Not to Chop...

Black Hair and Flowers by Fazlalizadeh

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So, let's talk about TRANSITIONING.  Yep, I said it.  I am gonna dive head first into this one.  I ran into a gorgeous sister today who is also a dear sister in Christ.  She is ready...SO ready, to unveil her natural coils but for some reason she believes that she doesn't have enough hair yet.  She isn't sold yet on how she will look with short hair.  I continued to encourage her and told her my story, how I started with literally two snaps of hair because I went for the Big Chop less than a month after my last relaxer.  She is currenty wearing a beautifully done set of braids back off her face in an elegant ponytail, so I explained that her face will be just as prominent (and lovely) as it is now.  But the conversation took a turn when she used a word that truly bothered me.  She said she was "Afraid."

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I see a lot of information on transitioning from relaxed to natural hair.  And though I appreciate that not everyone wants to simply cut off all their relaxed locks to unleash their natural glory, the REASONS behind why they choose to wait are important.  It is upsetting that society has done such a complete job of shaping our self-image and concept of our sexuality that we have forgotten (or at least pushed to the wayside) the image that God has laid out for us.  Delaying the unveiling of your true hair delays the process of accepting your true self.

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Song Bird by Wendy Nikolle'

II Timothy 1:7 "For God gave us a spirit not of Fear but of Power and Love and Self-Control." ESV

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There is nothing wrong with preferring to transition to natural rather than go cold turkey.  But for the sake of your soul, I encourage you not to.  Just like there is something beautiful about planting a seed and watching it grow...just like looking back on the baby pictures of a child and seeing how they developed to the person they are now...there is something amazing about watching your hair emerge and transform into it's natural crown.  There is beauty in the journey of great hair days and days when you are tempted to go back to relaxing or to hide your tresses under a wig.  It takes discipline and stamina to be dertermined to shatter the image of what you have been taught to believe your hair should look like and discover the person that has always been there.  Your beautiful, natural self. 

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The Holy Spirit gives grace and strength to do all things...ALL things.  If indeed it is to glorify God by re-claiming the vessel that He designed, then He can give you patience to get to that goal.  If you must transition, don't let it become your crutch.  Wean yourself from the extras as soon as you can gather the Divine strength to do so.  It may feel awkward or over-exposed at first, but the rewards of watching yourself transform as the months go by will make it well worth the temporary sacrifice of false image.  Bloom on, my sisters.



A Tall Drink of Water!

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In exchange for living on an island paradise, there is a basic issue that one must accept:  You may not always be able to get what you want when you want it!

I have fallen deeply in love with aloe vera juice (AVJ as it is known in the natural hair culture)!  My need is serious, y'all.  I am firmly convinced that AVJ is 99% water and 1% pixie dust as it handles so many of my issues with one blow!  Between the instant moisture from the water content and the cuticle sealing effect from its acidic ph, AVJ is my homey, lover, friend....no doubt!  So, you can imagine the bone chilling horror that raced through my very SOUL when my dealer local pharmacy told me that they would not have any more until "probably" next week!  PROBABLY??!! Perhaps I wouldn't have fainted if it wasn't for the fact that this was the same answer I got LAST week!!  My hair week flashed in front of my eyes- How will I detangle?  Who would moisten my 'fro in the mornings....and afternoons.......heck, who am I kidding, evenings, too?  Will my scalp revolt? What will my Jojoba/Shea mix say?  What is the POINT of going on?! 

Suddenly, I realized that I hadn't fainted but had experienced a cinematic montage in my mind's eye and was standing there with my mouth slightly open and blankly glaring at the assistant.  She repeated, "Is there anything else I can help you with?"  Too ashamed to confess my addiction, I casually reached for some glycerin, epsom salt and a Burt's Bees tinted lip balm...duck mouth.

Mind you, there are many ways for me to survive until next week.  It may take some doing, but it's far from impossible.  I have to laugh at myself when I realize just how uppity I have become that plain old water is now no longer good enough to satisfy the moisture my hair craves and that my fingers have better things to do than to personally address any tangles that may pop up in the next week.  It's amazing that to me how quickly I forget that there are some things that I can truly live without if I had to do so.  Having them makes things easier, but they still aren't essential to my survival.  Interestingly enough, I am back to something that is essential: water...at least for this week.  Water is a staple of life that we really WOULD die without.  I think I may use this momentary AVJ shortage as a teachable moment for my kinky-coily soul....

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LisyX byWendy Nikolle'

"As the deer pants for flowing streams, so my soul pants for you, O God."  Psalm 42:1 ESV

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My observation on myself is that there have been many times that I have neglected to feed my dry soul with the Living Water of the Word of God. Perhaps I tried to replace meetings with Him with some other activity that seemed fufilling.  Do I thirst for Him daily?  One of many rules listed in the "Naturalista's Guide to Happy Hair" is no matter what routine or products your hair may respond to, try to be consistent.  Consistent may be defined as daily, weekly or monthly depending on the treatment.  But you can definitely tell the difference if you miss a step or short cut it.  Sometimes I forget that returning to the Well of Living Water is not a luxury...its a necessity.  The Holy Spirit is constantly calling to us but it is up to us to answer the call.  And whether its a call for a deep treatment or just a refreshing spritz in the middle of the day, we should all thirst for the meeting.  It keeps us responsive to His Will and ready for His service.  My AVJ is awesome and I will sho 'nuf be in the front of the line when the shipment lands.  But until then, the water in my spray bottle will serve to remind me that there is a more vital nourishment that I truly cannot live without.  Don't try to replace it.

Tangle Beef!

Centric by XSUDEZ

Can I just take a minute to say...I HATE detangling my hair!  I mean, seriously.  Just typing the word makes my tongue go dry and I start to perspire slightly on my top lip!! C'mon you guys!!  I can NOT be alone in this!  Really!  Doesn't the tension in your neck begin to build from Wednesday night just thinking about the effort that Saturday is going to entail.  Now, I know some sisters have these AMAZING regimines which include finger detangling, copious amounts of some exotic oil, two strand twisting or some such styling and several hours of romantic comedies.  As much as I aspire to such dedication with my 'fro, I would be a liar of the highest degree to even remotely claim that I ascribe to the same disciplines.  For me, my extra wide tooth comb, a new botte of Burt's Bees conditioner and an uninterrupted shower (thanks to hubby running interference with the kiddos) and that is all I've got in me.  Or, in that case, time for!  I know I should then graduate to the, slightly finer, wide tooth comb and then protectively style to ensure stretching my coils and ensuring a better detangle next time.  That amongst mountains of other advice that I am sure I should be taking to make the experience less traumatic next time around....but do I do it.....nah!  Apparently, though my left brain knows what should be done, my free spirit, hippie right brain somehow still believes that the Detangle Fairy will appear on Friday night and I will arise Saturday morning with easily manuverable tresses!  Don't bet your Kinky~Curly on it!!  How is it we can know better but not do better?

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Newness of Morning by Raheli's Brush

Galatians 5:1  "Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage."  NKJV

It is so easy to slide into old habits....and to justify them!  Even when we know that doing things the right way may be more challenging but will save us headache in the long run.  Yet, somehow we wallow in the stubborness of it all.  Really, avoiding the "tangles" of life has more to do with busying ourselves doing what we should be doing.  Then there is less room to fall into it if we are too busy doing the opposite of it.  In this verse, Paul was telling us all to basically stick to what we know works!  Once we understand the freedom we have in Christ, stand firm in it so that we don't allow the slavery of sin to take us hostage!  A steady regimine of communing with the Lord will definitely cut down on having to do major Spirtual Surgery on a regular basis!  It doesn't have to be a complex regimine, just something tailored to our Spiritual needs and sincere to the soul.  Detangling the difficult areas of our life is a daily process.  It must be done carefully and steadily.  Prepare to loose a few things and sometimes we have to cut some knots out!  But the Holy Spirit is a great conditioner and He can make the process a whole lot smoother if we allow Him!