New Growth

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I love looking at postings of women who have chronicled their hair growth by taking photos of their hair from one month to the next.  "The Natural Hair Journey" seems to make for really good reading as long as you can see them locks hitting a new goal post!  TWA, Chin Length, Shoulder Length, Arm Pit Length, Bra Strap Length.....git it gurl!  Mark those milestones!  It can get a bit obsessive in some cases, but I'm no hater...if that is what keeps you motivated to care for the Crown, then do so.  My hair type doesn't grow down, it grows OUT!  So, the call to mark my progress isn't really that strong. Besides, my "Blonde Ambitions" keep me in my color bottle...my new growth is easy to see without a full stretch out.  Dark roots = yep, she's still growing...back to twisting!  But, there is a Spiritual Stretch Out that I do like to chronicle. No photos...but I definitely take a picture in my heart.

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Ah, yes.  YAAAASSSS!!  There comes that moment when you stretch it out.  You know what I mean?  Just breathe for a second and take a quick look around you to assess where you are.  It's kind of a second of living in the "Hyper-Present".  I call it that because it seems as if I am completely receptive to all that is happing around me in that moment.  I can actually feel my life flowing through me rather than happening to me! It doesn't happen often enough with me because I am usually doing battle with all of the mental beasts that keep me either analyzing the past or designing the future.  Nevertheless, the moments do come when I clear my headspace and allow for the Hyper-Present.  And in that moment I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude and resolution.  I am complete.  I am whole.  I am at rest with all that was and all that will be.  I am fully aware.  

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"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old.  Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?  I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." 

 Isaiah 43:18-19 ESV

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I love how this little passage makes it so obvious how pleasant it is to dwell in your Hyper-Present.  God Himself is saying to His people, "HEY! Don't waste time on that old stuff..and don't worry about what's ahead...I've got that.  Open up your mind and heart to see what I am doing around you right now!  Don't you feel it?!"   I dig that.  I completely dig a God who is big enough to suspend the before and after photos so that we can completely focus on the new growth of NOW.  Breathing it in with joy and thankfulness.  Spilling it over to infect those in our circle of influence.  Surely, the time spent alone with Him is designed to do just that: Hyper-Present us into His Hyper-Presence.  Yes....I can fee the growth.  No selfie necessary.

The "Anti-Naturalista"

Afro Moments by Wendy Nikolle'

So, what is a "Naturalista" anyway?  Well, I guess since its a completely invented word, it can mean almost anything! LOL!  But, my definition is a woman who lives by the intangible.  She enjoys keeping her life and her look in an organic state.  No, I don't mean "raised with out chemicals" organic.  Although, that may apply at times!  I mean organic as is full of the life that flows from the inside.  Her home is filled with life.  Her workplace is affected by her "life energy".  Her personal style flows from her life energy, not from a desire to keep up with trends set by outward influences.  That doesn't mean she is never trendy...it just means that she wouldn't pick up a trend if it did not truly reflect her inner self.  Now that we've got that out of the way, let's talk about the "Anti-Naturalista"!

Going natural is one of the hottest trends out there right now.  When done by a Naturalista for personal and sincere reasons, it is a great expression of self-contentment and positive confidence.  When done by an "Anti-Naturalista", it becomes a mundane series of conversations about hair typing, fighting shrinkage, and streams of self pics documenting length and curl definition.  I see you're about to throw a handful of Eco Styler in my face!  Just give me a second!!! I am NOT saying that chats about products and techniques are not necessary when caring for our delicate coils.  I am saying that when I get an email from you and the first item you address after greeting me is always an offer to send me a new pic of your latest hair status or a detailed description of how bouncy your curls were after treatment thus and such.......sigh.......I think you might be an Anti-Naturalista.

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Lisy2 by Wendy Nikolle'

II Timothy 3:6-7  "For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of truth." ESV

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Now, this verse was the apostle Paul warning Timothy, a young pastor, of how to spot false teachers and false prophets.  Even in Biblical times there were those who were using Christianity as a means to emotionally manipulate people.  Wow.  Not that my hair is NEARLY as crucial as my SOUL, but I can't help but see a parallel between sisters who become emotionally crippled by depending on false doctrine that feeds their insecurities and sisters who become obsessed with commentary on their tresses because it affirms their beauty.  The women Paul was talking about were injured and damaged, therefore it was easy for these manipulators to capture their attention.  Also, they were band wagoners.  Wherever the running fad is coming from is where they want to be.  Where they NEED to be.  This gives them a sense of belonging.  Talking incessantly about our hair does not help us "belong" with each other.  It keeps us distracted FROM each other.  We become trapped in a constant cycle of narcissism; identifying with our hair rather than letting the hair become part of our identity. 

Let's try a fresh approach.  Let's talk about our hair as much as we talk about our teeth or our kneecaps.  Naturalistas set their hair free from the pretense of chemical processing NOT so they can draw attention to their waves every chance they get.  They do it because they want their hair to be as free as their spirit.  Don't entertain Anti-Naturalista's in their obsessions.  There may be some deeper emotional and spiritual needs there that manifest in their hair fetish.  Let's encourage our girlfriends to define themselves not their curl type.

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Getting closer to me...

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There were several issues I had to settle before I did "The Big Chop"! 
Issue Number One: "How do I prep myself for the cultural kickback on letting go of my long locks of relaxed hair?" 

My relaxer was installed every 4-6 weeks by my Dominican sisters (whom I still fiercely believe are the baddest chicks on the PLANET for a blow out!).  Growing my hair has never been an issue and I think that is because I never obsessed over it.  My philosophy has always been that hair just grows.  So, let it do its thing and if you don't like how its looking, get a bossy hair cut! Unfortunately, I was painfully aware that one of the features that was always casually mentioned in my physical description by others was that my hair (paired with my skin tone) make me look like a Dominican! Hmmm.  Now, I know that was supposed to be a compliment.  But that is what made me think the most.  Why would that be a compliment? Why would it never be a compliment to say how someone's hair makes them look like a Black girl?  Was the concept of just having typical (if there is such a thing) Black hair social aesthetic suicide?  Would the same people who showered me with vain glory and compliments do so if my hair was just...me?

There was something disturbing the heart of me when it came to my hair that I just couldn't pinpoint.  This coming from a chick who has rocked Jheri Curls, Leisure Curls, Wave Nouveau, and relaxers!  This coming from a chick who grew her hair down past her shoulder blades and then cut it a la Toni Braxton!  Let's not even start on hair color!!! I think that even as a child I knew something was wrong with needing a "touch up" to be myself.  Now, just to be clear, I don't have a problem with other girls rocking their relaxers....do you! But that is my point...it was never me.  It was a me that was chosen for me at a young age and that I was being CONSTANTLY told by society (yes, I mean Black folks!) made me pretty!  And the worst part of it is that I did NOT naturally possess the silky, open curls that would (in the opinion of the same Black folks!) justify my letting go of processing my hair.  I felt like I was trapped in a very dysfunctional cycle and my own people were perpetuating it!  The final straw was when my 4 yr. old daughter let me know in no uncertain terms that she wanted long, beautiful hair like her FILIPINA classmate!  She then buried me with the observation that her hair was not pretty like my hair and she wanted to make her hair like mine! Checkmate.

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Romans 12:2  "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

Now this verse is talking about the renewing of your mind by the acceptance of Jesus Christ's love and redemption!  However, it is profound that the principle applies to every aspect of your life if you are ever to be 100% Natural from the inside out.  It does not say be transformed that you will be more acceptable to man.  Or in the case of we the Sisterhood, men!  It says transforming the mind will help us to discern what is good and acceptable and perfect in God's sight.  Basically, transformation allows you to be able to blossom into the being that He, the Master Artist, had in mind when carving you in your mother's womb.  Some may say that God is not concerned with the outside appearance of us.  And to some degree that is true.  But I find it hard pressed to believe that a God who created such a vast variety of flowers, birds, butterflies and other colorful, graceful, awe striking things would not find simple pleasure in His ULTIMATE creation (yes, that would be YOU!) intelligently and intentionally expressing unashamed satisfaction with the vessel in which he planted our souls! 

Solution to Issue Number One: "Transform my mind!"

The Natural Process...

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Here it is.  Another set of random thoughts from a random woman living what may appear to be a random life!  But, for those of us who believe in God, we know nothing is random.  We have an ingenious Lord who has handcrafted an intricate lifetime for us to experience before ultimately rejoining Him in eternity.  This is a breathtaking concept.  And sometimes in the vastness of that concept we lose track of the simplicity of our current existence!  So, this blog is dedicated to the Beauty of the Everyday. 

There is a new trend today in becoming more "Natural" in how we live.  From lifestyle to health & beauty....going natural is completely hip! At the risk of being a total wet blanket, I think it is a little TOO hip!!  This realization came to me as I began having more conversations with other women who are pursuing more natural means of living.  Especially in the beauty department.  Black women and their hair have a cosmic connection that I don't think will ever totally be unravelled.  I assumed that making the decision to stop processing one's hair stemmed from being ready to accept the brilliant design that God executed in you and work with it rather than against it.  Ummm.....that does not seem to be the case!! Apparently, the point of "going natural" is to define your coils, open your curl pattern, fight shrinkage, and lay down your edges!  At least, that is the drive of over 70% of the natural hair conversations that come my way!  I spent some time in contemplation on this and the following is the best I could come up with:

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 3 John 2:1 "Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul." ESV

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I think the key phrase is "as it goes well with your soul."  In otherwords, as your soul is growing and bearing beautiful fruit, I pray that it spills over into your tangible life.  I pray that your spiritual growth seeps through your pores and shows up in your physical being! How secure...how positive... how splendid is that?!

Are we really willing to radiate beauty on the outside not simply by buying a new product but by connecting with the beauty God is trying to cultivate in us?  It isn't easy, but it is simple.  There is a link between self-acceptance and then allowing God to do with the "self" whatever He likes.  Not tailoring the "self" to what you "think" is beautiful.  Yeah, Girlfriend.  We are gonna do some work.  Sure we will talk about all the ususal stuff...hair, skin, nails, kicks, threads, color....all the stuff that Black women love to pour tea over!  But the REAL tea is this: Are we working so hard to create the beauty ourselves, or are we working hard to release the beauty within?